Introverted Sensation (Si ) : When Pictures Telling About Something

These picture were snapped at the starting point of Kota Belud Trail…

Damaged Panar LabanB

Damaged Panar Laban2b

Damaged Panar Laban3b

( Credit : Refflisia Putih )

Now they are one of the reasons I did realized about the position of my Introverted Sensing ( Si ) even more. So in an emotionally shocking way.

Before seeing these pictures and other post-earthquake pictures of Panar Laban, the visual image of Panar Laban in my mind is always an ethereal beauty surrounded with clouds and mist. That image are stored in my internal memory storehouse since my first arrival there, something related to Si. Si is a data-storage device like cognitive function. The storage and organisations of all sights, smells, sounds and sensory informations from the past are Si’s job and business. When people talks about Panar Laban and somewhere around Gunting Lagadan Hut, that image will be replaying in my mind as a reaction to it. Just like the first moment I see it. And the image resurfaced again in the same fashion when something else triggered the memory.

And my reaction to it is also visceral.

That is how Si functions in the third preferred function alias the Eternal Child/Puella Aeterna archetype.

When I saw these pictures above, I can’t help from comparing it with the nostalgic images from my memory. The comparison between the current reality and memory from the past filled me with sadness and so a brutally strong reminder of the frailty and non-infallible nature of worldly life that made me feel freezing- everything but Allah Taala must come to an end someday.

Only people with INFP and INTP preferences are having Si in Eternal Child/Puella Aeterna position… So ?

Extraverted Sensation : The Moment Of Truth

GuntingLagadahHutTrail

Immediately recognized this as the wooden stairway from Laban Rata to Gunting Lagadan Hut. I was here in March 1998. It is easy to appreciate the physical beauty along this way, somehow something quickly took over the joy and my mind started to dwell into other ideas rather than fully enjoying the beauty I met in present moment. Lack of in-the-moment focus made me missing the bird that was located on the tree until the mountain guide or someone else points it out.

Credit : Refflisia Putih

In the previous post of my journey chronicles in embracing INFP as my best-fit type, I have mentioned that Introverted Sensation ( Si ) is the cognitive function that surprisingly lead me to my findings.

Now it’s the time to reveal another Jungian cognitive functions that confirms INFP as my best type.

It is Extraverted Sensation ( Se ), the opposite of Si.

Heidi Pribe of Thought Catalog describing Se in an easy way to understand :

“ Extroverted sensing is focused on taking in the world as it exists in the present moment. It is highly in tune with the sights, smells, sounds and general physical stimulus that surrounds it. Extroverted sensing lives and thrives in the moment, more so than any other function.”

http://thoughtcatalog.com/heidi-priebe/2015/06/if-youre-confused-about-your-myers-briggs-personality-type-read-this-an-intro-to-cognitive-functions/

In individual with INFP as their best type, Extraverted Sensation ( Se ) is located in the bottom 4 functions. It is located at the 7th position. Dr. John Beebe named and associating this position with an archetype named The Trickster.

Reynard-the-fox

There’re many version of trickster archetype in fictional stories are available to choose from. Somehow I prefer Reynard The Fox to be portrayed inside my post.

Here are an explaination from Eric B explaining about The Trickster from his website. Somehow, it gives me a dizziness bout just for digesting the meaning. However I am still putting it right here for some good reasons that are still unknown to myself.

“ Emotions connected with that of a bad child; either dealing with one, playing tricks and binding the ego, or then being one to get back at or rebel against the threat, will often come through the perspective. Where the Puer tells us what we want to hear, the Trickster tells us what we don’t want to hear! We feel “bound”, and then, in a rebellious fashion, try to turn the tables by using it for deceiving, double-binding, trapping others.”

http://www.erictb.info/archetypes.html

Giving you a dizziness to understand it, don’t you ?

To make it simple, The Trickster fools you to take something and perceive it as something else. And always influencing you in making rebellious children-like rushing decisions that not deserved to be taken seriously and you will regret later on if you follow it. Somehow, it is also brings a sense of humour. In the healthier manner, you can point out how or why someone or something is logically silly or appear like silly. On the other hand, on the social or professional settings, people can also use The Trickster to trip you as well or vice versa.

For INFP-preference individuals, that is means their experience with Se is getting distracted easily when having real-time, in the moment sensory experience. Either their mind wandering into the past or the future, while their physical body still staying in the moment presence. Or external stimulations is the main source that distracts their focus on something. Or always missing the details unless struggling to stay in focus while working on something that needs attention to details. Or maybe a strong tendency of experiencing pareidolia as a enjoyable way of laughing at themselves.

In my case, Se as The Trickster manifested in several ways. For example :

1. My trip to Mount Kinabalu in 1998 is one of the many moments that helped me to recognized how The Trickster manifests itself. How many times it was appeared as the distractions along my hiking journey. Still able to enjoy the beauty of nature but the focus was quickly get diverted into thoughts, nostalgias or day-dreamings. I missed to witness the existence of the near-dry Carson Falls, honestly, in that process. Or simply missed the sacrificing pool near St John’ Peak during the summit attack phase.

Somehow, at that moment Mount Kinabalu also under the influence of the worst El Nino phenomenon in Malaysian history, and most of the iconic plants and herbs were died, and I don’t mind of not seeing them all along the trail.

2. Ops, I used to have a laughable dressing/fashion sense. Many times I wore something that not flatter myself. I was appeared too old, too short or fat. Or appeared silly or boring. Or appeared meek and weak.

One of the factors I failed to win job interviews in the past is because my dressing sense was not impressing or appealing to the interviewers at all. I thought that by dressing like this and like that, I appeared as strong and as powerful job candidate. Somehow, in reality it was not. When I look back at those experience, yes they are simply laughable. I have no choice but to listen to the person who knows better about the style and colours that are in harmony to my natural appearance but not violating Muslims’ dressing code at the same time.

3. Having issue with proof-reading my own writing. Honestly I have to re-edit my blog posts or Facebook status or Facebook responses again and again, several times after straight away posting it online, because I tend to miss many typos and errors. I thought I have seen them all, but when I re-read my own posts online, I’m usually found typos or grammatical errors in it.

4. External stimuli is the main source of distraction when I’m going into creative process of writing something. From my own past experience, I can’t resist the external distractions when I went inside my inner world to get ideas and inspirations. When the distraction sources brought me out to the external world, my creative process got interrupted. Original ideas may either no longer staying just as it is or simply gone for good, when I returned again to the inner world of creativity. As a result, it leads to procrastinations or suspensions of working on creative writing material. Somehow, I am still okay with it most of the time because the new idea that came later on usually getting better than the original one.

5. Honestly I know that my Se is fooling around at me when I misidentified these images as something else at the first glance and it made me smiling or giggling at myself.

catandorangeegglike

Unless I’m looking closely and meticulously at this picture, I’ll always perceive the sleeping cat and the orange as a fried egg !

Credit : metro.co.uk

faceclock

A confused face looking at me. Seriously hillarious alarm clock.

Credit : themarysue.com

FrogInCafeLatte

Froth or Frog ? I see a frog having a glance at me, honestly and almost forgetting that this is just a cup of cappucino…

Credit : likecool.com

By sharing this, hopefully I can help someone to understand how Se works as The Trickster.

Note : Dr Linda Berens from Linda Berens Institute give another view upon Beebe’s model. I understands Beebe’s model even better with her point of view, even though the model example that was used in the article below is INFJ-preference.

http://www.infj.com/BerensOnBeebe.htmhttp://www.infj.com/BerensOnBeebe.htm

Gunting Lagadan Hut In Memory 2

GuntingLagadanHut2

Mount Kinabalu ( and so its mountain huts ) is an introverts’ haven that perfect both for the physical adventures and mutual soul-searchings. Somehow this modest, cozy hut is now a history.

Credit : Refflisia Putih

The memory of staying in Gunting Lagadan Hut in 1998 resurfaced once more after finishing the simple personality test in Quiet Revolution website last week.

introvert-quiet-revolution-opera_045

This personality test is not something equals to vonvon.com et. al. ‘just for fun’ quiz. We have to be honest with our answers because our answers will simply serving as the gate to know more about ourselves.

A year before, my results for the same test was ‘ambivert’ even though I tend to be more introverted due to the intense and dramatic maturing process happened since 2012, so this year’s results is somekind of jaw-dropping surprises for myself.

Because I thought that introverts are classically taciturn per se, non-talker type, while I can be somekind like Dato Seri Vida Qu Puteh’s type of person in public settings.

Then the mesmerizing memories of living in Gunting Lagadan Hut re-appeared to validate the current results. The second time test was done just after reuniting with those memories, embracing and honouring it few months before. Those beautiful experiences were brutally honest in telling something about myself.

panarlaban1998lil

“ Solitude Is Beautiful, Quiet Does Not Mean Boring.”

The ethereal beauty of quiet, foggy evening in Panar Laban. Some people may find this picture contains sadness- an emotion that we prefer to dodge- and felt as tragic; somehow to some other people, this is what they feel as romantic and blithe. Honestly I found out that I belong to the latter group.

The ethereal silence of the surrounding inside and outside the hut, the time in solitude and so, the hiking trip to Mount Kinabalu overall made me realized that I have endured so many painful sensory overloads and meltdowns from overly stimulating environments in one of the more developed parts of Sabah for so many years. Inside and outside my family house. I lost and get confused about my real identity in those overloads and meltdowns and the price I paid were so high enough.

“ Preference for quiet, minimally stimulating environments.”

The definition of introversion is a validation to that beautiful discovery also another thing that made me accepting the new results with open heart and getting that necessary life adjustments.

Gunting Lagadan Hut In Memory…

guntinglagadanhut

Credit : sabahup2date

This heart-warming building was one of the mountain huts on Mount Kinabalu and was named after Gunting Bin Lagadan, a Bundu Tuhan-origin Dusun man cum the first documented mountain guide of Mount Kinabalu.

guntinglagadanhutmark

Credit : Wikimapia.org

Located between the subalpine Laban Rata ( currently called PanaLaban ) and the alpine zone ( called The Rockface ), it was once became the summit base camp for my school holiday trekking trip in March 1998. In spite of its no-heater rooms and the strict ration of power and water supplies on that moment, living in this hut was an unforgettable theraputic experience. That was the first time I felt and noticed the healing effects that came from both the simplicity of our team’s bedrooms and how beautiful the ethereal silence of the surrounding inside out. So, I voluntarily agreed that clutters in home or anywhere are badly affecting someone’s mental-emotional-spiritual health and how the opposite is the most effective antidote, just before Marie Kondo started spreading KonMari method and the philosophy behind it to people around the world. Somehow, I forgot it once I rejoined the so-called ‘civilization’.

gunting-lagadan-1

Inside One of The Little Rooms of Gunting Lagadan Hut : Minus-ing other stuff in this picture, this view was the first time I did realized the theraputic effect of a simple, no-clutter environment. Somehow it needs a several years long personal journey to implement minimalistic environment as a part of my lifestyle.

Credit : borneoclimbdive.com

The memory resurfaced after being dormant for so long, when online discussions about decluttering vs uncluttering and being happy with less stuff became the powerful trigger. So, I found a very good reason for saying yes to those ideas and a strong catalyst to implement it by working on my personal space.

Unfortunately, Gunting Lagadan Hut is now in abandonment, after suffering from the beyond-repair damages and unsafe conditions on The Rockface’s old trail due to the earthquake happened in June 5th last year. Sadness filling my emotional space from looking at post-tremor pictures of the hut and its surrounding, and also from the tough decision from the authorities to abandon it, but I was still be able to comprehend the reasons behind the closure.

In different point of view, what had happened is actually a bless in disguise. For so long, I have ‘been programmed’ to associate my emotional attachment(s) to material object(s) rather than the experience(s) that in connection with the object(s). By the latest unfavorable conditions, I have to learn to connect my emotions with the experiences and not the object. In other words, to recognize that objects simply works just as the trigger and not something connected to my emotions. And so, to ease my slow-paced personal journey from a ‘pack-rat’ life to a ‘happy with less stuff’ life.