I saw Charlie’s Angels by myself in a theatre the Friday of opening weekend. It was absolutely delightful, and immediately upon exiting I told Amanda that she needed to see it.

I also said, “If you go see Charlie’s Angels, I’m going to need you to text me when you’re done to let me know you’re okay.”

Amanda: Is it good?!

Sarah: I had SUCH a good time. But the amount of lesbian energy is so substantial that I’m concerned you may pass the entire fuck out.

So much Lady Thirst.

Amanda: 

Sarah: I was never in doubt that they would be in grave peril but I was surprised by some scenes and really loved the cameos.

I won’t say anything more but you will probably really like it

Amanda: I have successfully roped my roommate into going with me on Monday

Sarah: Good call.

…

Readers, I sat on my fingers and didn’t spoil anything. I told a few people that I’d liked the movie, and then watched the negative press roll in over the weekend about how it was a big fail.

Honestly, I don’t even understand movie coverage sometimes. I have a slight suspicion that if there isn’t a measurable percentage of ManPain in a film, then it gets terrible reviews and returns. But in my opinion, it is not a fail at all. It is a lot of fun, and I was about to march to Boston to make sure Amanda saw it because that’s what needed to happen here.

This could not be more of an Amanda and a Sarah movie.

Cue Tuesday morning.

Sarah: Did you see Charlie’s Angels? (not visible: my hopping up and down in my chair like a kindergartner right before recess)

Amanda: I did!! We brought in cans of wine.

(See? Amanda makes all the good choices.)

Sarah: NICE. What did you think??

Amanda: I loved it! Guys shouldn’t be the only ones getting pulpy fun action movies. I also really love Kristen Stewart.

Sarah: Omg me too. Wanna do a joint squee about it?

Amanda: Yes! Definitely!!

So strap in, y’all, because we have some things to say here. The squee cannon is locked and loaded.

Quick set up: the Townsend Agency is now global, with multiple Bosleys and Angels all over the world in small teams or duos. Elena (Naomi Scott) tries to alert her (awful, so familiar) male boss to a serious flaw in a clean energy project she’s helped to develop, and he dismisses her, despite her knowledge that it could be used as an untraceable killing device. So after the female assistant to the big boss (he wears a hoodie and is also awful, and so familiar) stops her and hands her a business card for the Townsend Agency, Elena decides to become a whistleblower, and the agency is brought in to help her. Jane (Ella Balinska) and Sabina (Kristen Stewart) are the Angels who, with Bosley (Elizabeth Banks) try to protect her and figure out how to stop whomever is trying to kill her.

Sarah: Here are the top reasons why I really liked Charlie’s Angels and why I recommend it.

There are so many powerful women kicking ass in so many different ways, and so many fight scenes that take into account the physique and strength of the actresses. Ella Balinska had a more athletic, dancer’s grace to her choreography, while Kristen Stewart had fight sequences that were goofy and awkward and elbows and punches, then she’d flip herself around and do something gorgeously lethal. And Naomi Scott has one fight sequence at the end of the film that made me laugh out loud.

Speaking of Kristen Stewart, she demonstrates so much active, happy lady thirst and is clearly having a marvelous flipping time. It’s delightful. I wanted more of her in every scene. She and Naomi were definitely the strongest between the three Angels.

I’m not sure if this is a spoiler but I’ll hide it because it’s a nice surprise if you’re planning to see this (which I hope you will because it is nifty):

I also noticed the directing. The choices of angles and shots for some scenes, especially those establishing place or level of danger, were interesting and clever enough that I paid attention, and that’s not the type of thing I usually notice on first watching. Or second, really. And, special bonus, the end credits scenes are utterly charming.

Basically, I wanted adorable feminist brain feasting and eye candy with car chases, makeover scenes, double crossing, gun fights, disguises, ladies kicking ass and helping ladies, and I got all that, plus Djimon Hounsou speaking French for several scenes. (This is not in itself surprising, as he was born in what’s now Benin, but it was, as I’ve said so often in this review, delightful. I usually don’t have actor thirst or hot guy thirst, but maybe I have talented polyglot thirst? *shrug* Okay.)

I wasn’t surprised by much of the plot, and I never had the adrenaline OH NOOO feeling that they were in danger. I never doubted that they had things under control, even when they supposedly didn’t. I wasn’t terrified or scared or worried for them, and not once did I think I’d be seeing sexual assault or violation as a plot device to motivate the characters. The world of this story and this film was a safe space for me. The characters use their sex appeal as a distraction, but always, always are in control of their surroundings. That control may not build a lot of tension in the story, but it built a lot of enjoyment and delight for me in the audience.

TL;DR – Charlie’s Angels is really fun, total eye candy, and really a good time.

There are some stories I love because they’re are fun and silly, but can also be reinvented to be subversive in sneaky ways. This is one of those stories. It takes the tasks assigned usually to men – men who are bulky, muscular, terse, usually – and assigns them to women, who level up on expected tropes and demonstrate power and resilience in ways that are deeply satisfying.

Amanda: What Sarah said.

I’m always here for a movie where women are the ones kicking ass (see also: Terminator: Dark Fate). And admittedly, the middling reviews for Charlie’s Angels piss me off enough to send me into a rage spiral.

How many damn Rambos are there? Die Hards? JVD movies? I would say a majority of them aren’t going in the Criterion Collection and that’s okay. They’re fun, pulpy, action films that act like brain candy and I want women to be a part of that oeuvre too. (I’m really putting my two college classes of film criticism to use here.)

Sarah makes a wonderful point about how she was never too terribly worried for their safety or that sexual assault would be used as a plot device, and I think that’s a credit to Elizabeth Banks being a writer and the director on the movie. Look, I don’t know Banks personally, but there’s an amount of trust I have with putting women in charge of a movie where women are the stars. I’m thankful a man’s pain wasn’t at the center of the Angels’ badassery. I’m thankful I didn’t have to see a scene of sexual assault to trigger some reclamation of strength. I’m thankful I get to see a variety of ways women can be strong and powerful in a variety of situations. No offense to men in action movies, but all I’m going to say is that the Angels utilized way more skills to gain the upper hand rather than just blowing shit up.

Though they definitely also blow shit up.

As Sarah said, it’s fun. So much fun and there’s nothing wrong with a movie being fucking fun! Let me live!

I’m probably going to watch it again on Thursday and buy some movie theater nachos this time.

Sarah: You make SUCH GOOD DECISIONS. I mean, that could be Thanksgiving: Charlie’s Angels and Nachos! Gather up your friends and head to the movies.

OH! And, Amanda – THE DORK FLIRTING.

Amanda: These ladies are badasses but also awkward little nerds. They contain Multitudes.

Sarah: I’ve done some research to try to figure out why this movie didn’t do well, and there’s some focus on the marketing – which was not stellar, I agree. The trailers didn’t really sell the story or the greater strengths of the film, especially how funny, magnetic, and engaging Kristen Stewart is. She and Naomi Scott lit every scene they were in. Maybe marketing couldn’t effectively distill this combination of female gaze and swaggering female power? I dunno.

I keep questioning why I was so determined to see this movie, especially after the low initial box office and the talk about it being a flop. The marketing was sub-par, so how did it work so well on me? I knew from the trailer I watched inside Poppy’s last guest post that I wanted to see this film, and even put a reminder on my to-do list to buy tickets. That NEVER happens with movies. The last time I went to see a movie mid-day by myself was How to Train Your Dragon: The Hidden World and that was a given (Dragons is my Other Fandom).

Otherwise? Movies aren’t really my thing. More often I’d rather take that $12 and buy books with it. But despite the Charlie’s Angels trailer and marketing being really flimsy, I knew this movie was going to be for me. Amanda’s point about trusting Elizabeth Banks based on the Pitch Perfect franchise and her other work is dead right. I could read between the lines of the trailer and understand what I was going to get: a bubbly-fun lady-focused action and spy movie with car chases, gun fights, ass kicking, and adorable delight. That’s what I wanted, and that’s what I got.