Sarah Harding has opened up about her battle with drink and drugs, and how she first came to try cocaine.
She was at a party with her ex Calum Best, who has spoken openly about his own struggles with addiction, and begged her not to try it.
But she insisted and then followed her own battle, and she has admitted that it was "do or die" before she checked in to a rehab facility in South Africa years later.
Sarah has released a new book called Hear Me Out, which details her life and career, as well as her ongoing battle with breast cancer.
Discussing her drug use, Sarah wrote: "There was usually someone on hand offering something to help ease the pain.
"It got so bad that I had to have a couple of girlfriends stay at the house with me, just to make sure I was OK.
"I wasn't sleeping properly or eating. I was on a treadmill of booze, sleeping pills and drugs if they were around. Anything to numb the pain."
On the night she first tried cocaine, Calum and Sarah had attended a party in a posh house in Knightsbridge, London, before moving on to continue the night at a friend's house.
Calum had disappeared with a friend, and someone else at the party told Sarah he was off taking cocaine.
Sarah wrote: "I could see the powder on the table, so I walked over and looked down at it. F**k it, I thought, what's good for the goose and all that."
She said Calum begged her not to, saying: "Babe, don’t do it, please. You don't have to."
But she ignored him, and she continued to attend parties like that, and use drugs.
In 2011, she checked into rehab in South Africa, when she knew she had to get help.
Last year Sarah shared the devastating news that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer, which spread throughout her body.
She is still undergoing treatment, and released her book to document her ordeal.
*Hear Me Out by Sarah Harding is out now