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Syracuse lacrosse attack man Stephen Rehfuss and his five older sisters, (left to right), Caroline, 26, Anne, 22, Charlotte, 23, Abigail, 27, Alexandra, 29.
(Submitted photo)
Syracuse, N.Y. -- The only thing that used to fly around the Rehfuss household in Latham faster than lacrosse balls was advice.
Stephen Rehfuss was often the target of those friendly suggestions. Rehfuss is the only boy in the family, and sat at the bottom of a pecking order that featured five older sisters.
"He grew up with six moms,'' said sister Abigail, 27. "My mom and five sisters. The poor kid is being told what to do left and right. My dad likes to say he's going to think he was married his whole life.''
How much of that wisdom Stephen actually listened to and absorbed is a question that will only be answered as his life unfolds.
But it's clear at this point he was extremely attentive to at least one large slice of his sisters' wisdom: lacrosse.
Stephen is now a promising redshirt freshman attack for Syracuse. And the thousands of hours worth of examples and seminars offered by his sisters laid the foundation for his ascension to that position, a climb that at one point seemed very unlikely.
All of his sisters played lacrosse. Four were high school standouts. Two, Abigail at Loyola and Carolina at Princeton, were college All-Americans.
So when the siblings yakked at Stephen about lacrosse, at least, they certainly knew what they were talking about.
"I don't even know if I'm considered better than some of them right now. They are all really good athletes,'' Stephen said.
Stephen is 19 while his sisters range from 22 to 29, so there wasn't a lot of overlap time when he was the full target of all their attention. But the attention he got was, quite understandably, usually of the kid glove variety, according to Abigail.
"He's definitely the jewel of my parents eyes. He is the prince of the family. Me and my sisters all knew that,'' she said.
"(They were) definitely very protective. They taught me everything, too,'' Stephen said. "I loved it. I always had people to look up to. I always wished I had a brother, but I couldn't really ask for more.''
Abigail said it was clear from an early age that Stephen was going to want to jump in on the family fun when it came to lacrosse. At age 3, Stephen could already catch, craddle and throw.
That quick learning curve gave him entry to the pickup games played by his sisters.
"Shooting in the back yard, I would always be their feeder if they needed to shoot,'' Stephen said.
"The kid just never puts his stick down,'' Abigail recalled. "It's his passion. We all played lacrosse. But Stephen was the one who put in the extra work.''
Redshirt freshman attack Stephen Rehfuss has six points in four games for Syracuse this season.
Stephen's admiration of his sisters went beyond backyard play. An excellent visual learner, he'd anchor himself on the sidelines of their games, dissecting their styles in particular and the skills and stickwork on display in the women's game in general.
"He must have gone to 1,000 girls lacrosse games. He always had a ball. He always had a lacrosse stick,'' said Rehfuss' father, also named Stephen.
"I focused more on my stickwork and stuff because I was so small,'' the younger Rehfuss said. "So I always kind of used that to my advantage when I was younger, which definitely helped out.''
Stephen was an undersized player who didn't start to make serious noise in the sport until his senior season at Shaker High School. But what a clamor he created then, with school single-season records for most assists (80) and most points (128).
He had been an under-the-radar college prospect to that point, and committed to Holy Cross before his senior year. But once he got to Holy Cross he felt like the lacrosse program there wasn't going to be a good fit for him. He left that school's lacrosse program in the fall, although he remained a student there through his freshman year.
It was a risky move. At the time he quit the lacrosse team, Rehfuss had no assurance any other school would want him.
"It was entirely possible he might not play college lacrosse for the rest of his career,'' the elder Rehfuss said.
"We were like, 'Stephen, this could be the end of the road for you. Are you sure you want to do this?''' Abigail recalled.
He was indeed. Perhaps some of that confidence was an extension of another of the lessons his sisters instilled in him.
"(It's) just my mindset. Calm, relaxed. They tell me to be confident. Just kind of not think too much, just play your game,'' he said.
Even though SU didn't take a look at Rehfuss out of high school, once he got his release from Holy Cross and word filtered to the Syracuse coaching staff that he was available, coaches checked out some high school video. They projected that he could find a spot on an Orange attack that needed some help.
"I love it here. Who wouldn't want to come here?'' Rehfuss said.
Rehfuss has been an immediate contributor, quickly working his way up to the fourth attack spot. In four games played, he has five goals and an assist.
"Syracuse promotes his creativity,'' Abigail said.
"I just try to take advantage of the opportunities that have been given to me, not necessarily trying to score a goal every time I touch the ball but moreso just play within the offense,'' Stephen said.
"I think as the season's progressing, practicing with (teammates), every day I've meshed better with them. We kind of know what each other's doing. But I'm still learning a ton from everyone. I think I've just tried to be as smart as I can with the ball, and honestly just learn from the others, just watching all the other attackmen, all the other midfielders.''
Rehfuss' siblings, naturally scattered to all the places and jobs that the real world takes them, try to maintain their bridge to his talents by coming to as many SU games as possible.
They remain part coaches, and to the very fullest extent big sisters.
"They are not overly hard on me, but they are not going to baby me,'' Stephen said. "They would never yell at me. They're not the type to be really hard on you if you have a bad game. They are just very supportive.''